Third time’s a Dog…

A heel is a bad guy. 

A babyface is a good guy. 

That’s pretty much all you need to know in wrestling. 

WrestleMania Très held the all time indoor attendance record for a crowd of 93,000+. This number was apparently bullshit but for  the sake of wrestling being awesome, I’ll keep it. Andre the Giant had enough of the Hulk Hogan show and wanted his title, which became a match for the ages, that some say was the equivalent of a man riding a shark that is towing three lovely ladies on water skis. If that isn’t a segue then I don’t know what is, which leads me to my southern IPA of choice, River Dog IPA. 

(You’ll get the weird reference later, I promise, but in the mean time)

                                                                            Vote for Me!            


With the random Doug reference aside now, let’s get to the beer shall we. I’ve oogled over this brewery in previous posts like River Dog is also Man’s Best Friend, and this one is no different. This IPA is fucking stellar with its citrus hop goodness and just the perfect amount of malt, it’s like a Hogan big boot to your mouth, and I can promise you that’s a good thing. The 6.5 ABV makes it quite crushable and when it’s 80 degrees starting in February, that’s music to my ears, or it’s a cooling breeze on a hot day, or it’s the sound of jingling coins, or whatever the fuck suits your fancy. 

They apparently make them big in the French Alps, as Andre the Giant is here and has never even been body slammed. How can Hulk win???!! 

Hulk goes for a slam???!!! And his back gives out and the match is almost over just like that. 

Head butt from Andre. Head butt from Andre. Head butt from Andre, followed by a butt womp type maneuver in the corner. Hogan follows it up with clotheslines and Andre won’t go down!! The IPA is flowing and Hogans energy seems to be slowing. The bear hug is on and what??? Hogan punches, Hogan punches, the Silverdome is going wild but Hogan succumbs to the power of the giant once more. Hogan looks done and…

What the fuck?!?! What the fuck?!?! Andre is staggering and Hulk…

body slams the five hundred pounder!! Leg drop followed by the 1…2…3!!!

The baby face once again foils the heel and history has been made. Some celebratory IPA’s are in order and four seems like a good number, and also a foreshadowing to another WrestleMania spectacle. 

Everybody’s Working for the Beerkend


This might be pretty much every weekend but this weekend in particular is a real doozy. Friday, my favorite local brewery River Dog (that I’ve referenced in “River Dog is also Man’s Best Friend“) is having a tap tap tapa-roo takeover at one of my favorite craft spots, Fat Patties. Along with the River Dog deliciousness will be the newly tapped Bells Hopslam, after that lineup will either be the voices in my head or Uber calling my name. 

Saturday nights alright for fighting as well as heading up to Charleston, a burgeoning craft beer destination. After a lovely lunch with my gal and her parents we will magically whisk ourselves to Westbrook Brewing Company, which is a personal favorite of ours. From strong solid ass stouts to some of the greatest goses these lips have ever enjoyed, this a must stop. With breweries popping up everywhere our possibilities are endless and we’ll surely take our time and enjoy all the frothy goodness. This is just the warm up…

Warm up?!?!

Yep, you heard me right. That will be the warmup to Sunday where a little game will commence at about sixish. The motha flippin Super Bowl is upon us and my Pats are vying for their 5th title in their last fifteen years. This will be an interesting year as I’m in so called “Falcons Country” and I’m the self proclaimed ECW of Patriots fans. 

(For all you non wrestling nerds, ECW was hardcore wrestling, so I basically took the long and confusing way of calling myself a hardcore fan.)

Not only will I be watching it on a 16 foot video screen, surrounded by Patriots haters, but for $50 it’s all you can eat and drink. Oh lordy…

It’s safe to say I’m fucking pumped for this weekend…

My liver?…

Not so much. 

Long. Ass. Book. 

I sometimes make decisions that I look back on and think, “Why the fuck did I do that?”

As I’m on page 1213 of 1320 of Stephen King’s The Stand, I daily echo my own previous sentiment. This will be the longest book I’ve read to date and I’ll be pretty pumped to finish it. Once it’s done I’ll do a big “Yippee!!” and I’ll be on to the next Nicholas Sparks masterpiece, but I have to say, there’s nothing like a book and a beer…or two…

Or 3…

But who’s counting.

Right?!

Lets get ready to…

RRRRUUUUMMMMBBBBLLLEEEE!!!!!

It went 12 rounds and needed a judges decision for this epic confrontation. Like out of the pages of a comic book, the action took place everywhere you could imagine, even unimaginable places such as:

  1. My couch
  2. My bed
  3. Dining room
  4. Other side of my couch
  5. Other side of my bed
  6. My dog Henry’s crate

Hahahaha. Just seeing if you were paying attention but you get my point, I hope.

I thinked and thanked, as I drinked and dranked (my best Dr.Seuss impression) and I came to an outcome. A very Hazy outcome you could say (wink wink) and so it was done.

The winner and new #dipadecember champion of the world…

        *suspense*

              *is killing you*

HAZE!!!

Congrats to all the participants and I cordially invite you to try again next year. Seriously though, please try again. You can try tomorrow if you want, I need more beer anyway.

We got two words for ya…

Literally two words and two is actually one of the words!

(Drum roll)

Two Claw. 

Also another two words or more specifically, one word and an initialism…

Rye IPA. 

I’m currently enjoying Westbrook Two Claw. 

#ryeipagamestrong


Keeping with the theme I have two more words for ya…

THE GOAT 🐐