Big Lager Lies

Are you fucking kidding me??…

Eric the Vampire was Ziggy’s Dad???!!!…

And Lenny Kravitz’s daughter killed him??!!!…

Sorry, I’m too busy screaming out loud at the TV at this season finale. Holy shit. I’m so flabbergasted that I put the name Lager in the title and I’m drinking an Ale, unreal. 

I know I’m late to the party on this but wowwy wow, what an amazing seven episodes. 

HBO, I would like to kiss you right on the mouth. 

“Ever watch Sunday night programming on HBO, it’s spectacular!”

Yes Paul Rudd, you’re absolutely correct. Fuck, watch this right now.

Right. Now. 

And drink a beer to because we all know it makes everything better. 

Better. 

Pale Ales are like Movie Sequels…

…they mostly suck. 

Suck may be a strong word but there are a bevy of subjective synonyms. Currently watching Independence Day: Resurgence, while “enjoying” a Calvert Brewing Good Company Pale Ale, and it struck me. Sequels are never as good as the original. I’ll only give one real sequel a shot and I’ll give you one clue…


But for the most part, pale ales, simply pale in comparison to other beer styles. Get it?? For me, the IPA is Caddyshack and most other PA’s or APA’s are…Caddyshack 2. I hate for this particular Pale to get caught in the crossfire because it really isn’t terrible and actually, like the movie, got way better towards the end but my point stands…

I’m not mad at you Pale Ales, I’m just disappointed. 

And better late then never…

#IPMAY is here. 

Pliny the…Overrated?

Before you get your panties in a wad, I really did like this beer…

As in like, like…

Like going steady, asking it to the Sadie Hawkin’s dance kind of like. 


But…

When you’ve been pursuing and pining over something for so long, it can take on a life of its own, and the legend grows and grows. Once you get your hands on it, you’re expecting that legend to take a hold of you and whisk you away on a magical journey of dreams and delight. This was my hope as I took my first big sip. I sipped, I pondered, and then…

It was…just good. Don’t get me wrong, it was smooth, hoppy, and all around well balanced but it was just, if I dare to say it again, good. I didn’t want to be disappointed and felt bad that I didn’t love it as much as I thought I would’ve. Is that wrong? I asked myself, “should I like this more??”. I basically chalked it up to having dozens and dozens of different DIPA’s over the years that could be very comparable and/or better than Pliny. I had to get it in my head that this was basically the double IPA that started it all, and that all the DIPA’s I happen to enjoy more are a subtle variation of this very brew. 

In conclusion, I’m very elated that I tasted the nectar that is Pliny the Elder and can cross it off on my beer bucket list, or something I just made up, my “beer”cket list. The thing is, we’ve gone on our first date and it was great and fun, but it just wasn’t as good as I was hoping or thought it would be. This is where I leave you, don’t be upset, there’s somebody special out there waiting for you, but I’m not that person. 

Pliny…

It’s not you, it’s me. 

There will be Beer. 

#IPApril has been dank…

I couldn’t be hoppier trying any and all of the Pale Ales from India I can get my hands on…

I feel like my puns have been lacking lately, so there’s a couple for ya. 

13 days, 16 different IPA’s later, marks the inevitable ending of two magical quests I have embarked on. 

What quests you ask??

Well I thought you would never ask but they are my #questfor1000 unique beers on the fabulous application untappd and maybe even more important…

The quest that, as we speak, is making its way across this great nation by airways, but to dramatize the situation, I’ll go with magical and majestic steeds. Trundling through the moats of yesteryear, or in this case we’ll call it Cleveland, or taking in the breathtaking mountain views of East Bumfuck, this journey will come to a delicious and satisfying end, in my mouth. 

(mind out of the gutter please)

That quest is Pliny the Elder, the originated and often imitated beginning of the double IPA. Along for the ride will be his trusty side kick, Blind Pig, which maybe just a single version of the Elder but has the hops of a champion. 

(If you were reading that description and then pictured a beer riding a horse, then my work here is done.)

Two hard fought journeys of valor will enter my personal record books, and beer bucket list at the same moment and it will be bliss…

Oh yes, there will be bliss.