Pale Ales are like Movie Sequels…

…they mostly suck. 

Suck may be a strong word but there are a bevy of subjective synonyms. Currently watching Independence Day: Resurgence, while “enjoying” a Calvert Brewing Good Company Pale Ale, and it struck me. Sequels are never as good as the original. I’ll only give one real sequel a shot and I’ll give you one clue…


But for the most part, pale ales, simply pale in comparison to other beer styles. Get it?? For me, the IPA is Caddyshack and most other PA’s or APA’s are…Caddyshack 2. I hate for this particular Pale to get caught in the crossfire because it really isn’t terrible and actually, like the movie, got way better towards the end but my point stands…

I’m not mad at you Pale Ales, I’m just disappointed. 

And better late then never…

#IPMAY is here. 

Pliny the…Overrated?

Before you get your panties in a wad, I really did like this beer…

As in like, like…

Like going steady, asking it to the Sadie Hawkin’s dance kind of like. 


But…

When you’ve been pursuing and pining over something for so long, it can take on a life of its own, and the legend grows and grows. Once you get your hands on it, you’re expecting that legend to take a hold of you and whisk you away on a magical journey of dreams and delight. This was my hope as I took my first big sip. I sipped, I pondered, and then…

It was…just good. Don’t get me wrong, it was smooth, hoppy, and all around well balanced but it was just, if I dare to say it again, good. I didn’t want to be disappointed and felt bad that I didn’t love it as much as I thought I would’ve. Is that wrong? I asked myself, “should I like this more??”. I basically chalked it up to having dozens and dozens of different DIPA’s over the years that could be very comparable and/or better than Pliny. I had to get it in my head that this was basically the double IPA that started it all, and that all the DIPA’s I happen to enjoy more are a subtle variation of this very brew. 

In conclusion, I’m very elated that I tasted the nectar that is Pliny the Elder and can cross it off on my beer bucket list, or something I just made up, my “beer”cket list. The thing is, we’ve gone on our first date and it was great and fun, but it just wasn’t as good as I was hoping or thought it would be. This is where I leave you, don’t be upset, there’s somebody special out there waiting for you, but I’m not that person. 

Pliny…

It’s not you, it’s me. 

There will be Beer. 

#IPApril has been dank…

I couldn’t be hoppier trying any and all of the Pale Ales from India I can get my hands on…

I feel like my puns have been lacking lately, so there’s a couple for ya. 

13 days, 16 different IPA’s later, marks the inevitable ending of two magical quests I have embarked on. 

What quests you ask??

Well I thought you would never ask but they are my #questfor1000 unique beers on the fabulous application untappd and maybe even more important…

The quest that, as we speak, is making its way across this great nation by airways, but to dramatize the situation, I’ll go with magical and majestic steeds. Trundling through the moats of yesteryear, or in this case we’ll call it Cleveland, or taking in the breathtaking mountain views of East Bumfuck, this journey will come to a delicious and satisfying end, in my mouth. 

(mind out of the gutter please)

That quest is Pliny the Elder, the originated and often imitated beginning of the double IPA. Along for the ride will be his trusty side kick, Blind Pig, which maybe just a single version of the Elder but has the hops of a champion. 

(If you were reading that description and then pictured a beer riding a horse, then my work here is done.)

Two hard fought journeys of valor will enter my personal record books, and beer bucket list at the same moment and it will be bliss…

Oh yes, there will be bliss. 

Jekyll and hyde the juice.

respect

Disclaimer: This “juice bomb” trend is really getting out of control. They taste fucking delicious, i would never say they don’t, but it’s beer people…beer.  It’s not even the fault of the brewers themselves, but the juice lovers have it in their head that if beer doesn’t taste like juice, then it sucks or it’s a “malt bomb”. Man up and broaden your horizons.

Having said that, this post is actually about some southern attempts at the NE style IPA, so go figure.  The beer scene is quite different this side of the Mason/Dixie line as their isn’t many frequent releases to line up for or having to pay $20 for a four pack of 16oz cans, which I totally look at as a perk. The local breweries I frequent such as River Dog and Southern Barrel do have a rotating wide variety on draft but not much in the cans department so a couple pints and a to go growler it is.  The NE style IPA. or the aforementioned juice bombs, are slowly but surely making their way down the coast.turtle

Case in point is Jekyll Brewing of Alpharetta Georgia, with all around solid brews, they have a couple takes on the haze craze (more bitching about that later).  Not really advertised as an NE IPA, because frankly it isn’t one, but that’s what i tasted so I’m counting it.

So there.

Hoot’n & Holler’n (can’t get more southern than that) is a DIPA that as smooth as the day is long. The more I read about it, I heard it had more of a malt character, but I got a lot of similar characteristics to the always delicious, and expensive, Trillium and Treehouse. As some of you are reading this, I’m sure you are shouting “blasphemy!” or “did he just compare other beers to Trillium AND Treehouse, how dare he!”, but that’s my story and I’m stickin to it. Even at 94 IBU’s and 8.8% ABV I was mesmerized by the balance of flavors and it really went down, well…

like juice.

(Shit! I told myself I wasn’t going to say that!)

(Maybe they didn’t see it?)

***Who said that??***

Sorry for the interruption folks, they won’t stop talking sometimes. Getting back to the task at hand, the next brew is (and I’m not making this up) called Southern Juice.  This being directly inspired by the NE (New England/Northeast) style didn’t really hit me over the head as much with juice, as I was expecting from the name.  Still delicious in its own right with a run of the mill 6.3% ABV, the color, haze, and look was there but I was missing something.  When something is in the juicy style and then calls itself juice in the name of said beer, i was expecting a little bit more. Maybe if I just tasted without reading the label I would’ve been pleasantly surprised, as I was with H&H, not expecting the taste of my former home (Massholes stand up!).

Whether the juice is loose or the malt bomb is ticking, I love IPA’s for what they are.

Damn good beer.

#IPApril

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#IPApril

A wise man once said, “If something doesn’t work, say fuck it and come up with something else.”

Or something like that. 

#maniamarch is over and done with and maybe I only did eleven out of thirty two, but it’s my blog and I can kind of do what I want so the kibosh was put on. I will still enjoy the hell out of WrestleMania 33 tonight and put down some beers with my lovely lady. 

Another month means another hashtag and more beer. My affinity for India Pale Ales has been well documented, so it just seemed to fit (that’s what she said) that this month is now #IPApril. I focused on the double IPA back in December with the epic battle that was #dipadecember with Treehouse “Haze” coming out on top, but this April is open to any and all comers. Be it a single, double, American (gross), Imperial, black, single hop (not a fan), or the rare but always delicious triple IPA, this will be one for the ages and I’m thirsty already. 

What are your favorite IPA’s?? 

Let me hear it!!
…and for all the ‘Merica people that might have been offended with gross by America, stop it. It’s the American IPA that’s gross. Use your head. 

I’m a masochist. 

Kind of. 

I’m about to re embark on an 1,100 page journey that is…

Well maybe not that exact IT but I’m sure you’re picking up what I’m putting down. 

I was doing adult things and listening to a podcast in which a gentleman reads every Stephen King book in chronological order and does a weekly review. After his three part IT review, I got all the feels and knew I had to read IT again. The book IT, not the lovely two letter pronoun, they’ve been getting confused for years. Wouldn’t that suck?!, to be a lovely little pronoun and always have people think you’re a maniacal killer clown that eats children, but I digress. 

I can be a bit lackadaisical in my reading but I have set an end date and that is that. How’d I come up with this end date???

Beer, of course. 

Doesn’t beer solve every problem??

How Roode!

Introducing the best fucking Pale Ale ever.

Like. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. 

“Glorious”

by: CFO$

No, I won’t give in

I wont give in 

’till i’m victorious

And I will defend

I will defend

Glorious
No, I won’t give in

I wont give in

’till i’m victorious

and I will defend

I will defend

And I’ll do what I must

No, I won’t give in

I wont give in

Oh, so glorious

Until the end

Until the end